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About

Steven Eilers

My personal story

Finding a Path of Purpose

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A Peek at the Path that Led Me in My Pursuit for Purpose and
Meaning in Life

 

Setting the Stage

I would like to first express my humble gratitude and thanks that even one person in the world would care to read my story or care to hear me record, digest and analyze speeches and lectures from people I consider are living a life of pursing purpose. I would like to preface this short autobiography about myself with a few thoughts to set the stage of why I have decided to start writing articles related to my own pursuit of purpose.

  1. I have lived a life without direction, meaning, or true purpose for the majority of my life. Living this way left me unfulfilled and confused. It wasn't until I had children that I started to take an interest in why we exist. This led me from a meaningless life of entertainment, distraction and experience seeking with no care for knowledge, wisdom, or enlightenment, to an insatiable thirst for meaning, purpose, and understanding. Why do we exist? Did we choose to be here? What is consciousness? What's the big deal about religion? Can you be spiritual and not believe in God? Where does morality come from? Is there only one right answer? I absolutely admit that I may not know the answers. I always encourage people to do their own research and come to their own conclusions. I understand faith, religion, and spirituality can be a very heated topic for many. I truly just want to present my path and help as many people as I can that are seeking truth in a world seemingly filled with darkness, despair, dread, and corruption.

  2. I am centered in a place where I maintain an effort to have few judgements. I have an open mind and will research just about anything. I am constantly thriving to better my understanding on how to live a meaningful life of purpose. My conclusions don't have to be your conclusions, I only hope my musings and ramblings help in some way on your path as well.

  3. My wife having fertility issues first put me on my path to learn about health and wellness. We were told we wouldn't be able to have children and we very quickly found out how broken the medical model is. By the end we had done over 10,000 hours of research and we had two children. I would love to focus on health topics even though in the last few years all my research has evolved into spirituality and religion. I believe starting with health helped sharpen my mind and prime me to be geared towards wanting to learn.

  4. In the beginning I found myself so excited about the things I was learning about health, wellness, spirituality, religion, and philosophy I was chewing through my close friends and families ears. This went on for many years. I've sense learned that I really should have been just centralizing my knowledge online to help people that are receptive to the things I have learned. People only change if they truly want to change. I want to reach and help people on their path if it aligns with my path. This will absolutely optimize my efficiency to help others.

  5. I have love in my heart and truly want to share what has helped me through my trials and tribulations. We all bear our own cross and not having an understanding of why makes the ropes that tie us down dig deep and draw blood. Thank you for reading this far and let me briefly walk you through what has shaped me on my path so you know the perspective I carry for the articles I will be writing. <3

 

Early Life

My parents separated when I was 7. My parents had married because I started to grow in my mother's belly. My mother would go on to marry 5-6 other men. My mother was given a house by her parents which is mainly where I grew up. Even though we lived in a house and my grandparents were wealthy we lived in poverty. My mother did the best she could as I reflect on it today. She had many drug addictions of the worst kind. She eventually ended up kicking heroine after one of her husband's died of an overdose. I had no supervision growing up and I've often inflected on why I had such a strong stance against drug use. I helped many of my friends with coping with their problems when it seems my living conditions where worse in comparison. This eventually led me to research a lot of aspects of sociology but I felt there was a gap. A lot of people boil it down to brain chemistry factors but I landed on an idea that we have boons and banes given to us at birth. We can dive deeper in later posts with some references. But my brother spiraled off into drug use just like my mother. In essence, I raised myself.

 

High School

Building up to one of my first perceived failures in life I applied to a high school near where I lived that offered advanced studies in professional areas. I was accepted and ended up studying law in high school. Making this decision I had to give up a typical high school experience of sports. I was open to do this as my attempts to play football in middle school didn't pan out because I ended up having a hernia that was discovered during a physical. It was a bad hernia I had lived with for a long time. My brother had kicked me in the groin many years earlier which ruptured the muscle wall between my manly parts and my guts. In short this is one example of the kind of torment I faced from my older brother in my early years (A couple to give some idea of my brotherly relationship, he had been known to chase me with knives and shoot me with pellet guns.) But back to the important stuff, I studied law and I was good at it. We had what were called mock trails which were just fake trials where kids played the parts of lawyer, witness, jury, and judge. We went through the motions of acting out trials. I did well playing the part of a lawyer. I was 14 wins 0 losses as my record. My home life hadn't improved. I continued to be contend with a heavy mental and physically abusive environment. I was truant my last few years in school but still managed to gain the favor of my legal teachers who appealed my truancy on my behalf with my principal. In my home life I had been kicked out of my house with my mother at the age of 16 and floated between friends' houses. I lost a districts attorney's office internship because I couldn't afford the gas to drive nor did I make time for it like I probably should have. My high school years were also plagued with my obsession with video games which ended up dominating my existence. I see this as my attempt to escape reality. Video games and junk food were my addictions.

 

College

After high school graduation I tried working and going to a community college. I only lasted one semester. I was dreadfully bored taking my basics which seemed to just be an extension of high school studies. I never took a class outside of basics. My addiction to video games would ebb and flow with an additional obsession to working out that I had adopted in high school. In my free time my senior year I had actually joined a swim team and progressed very quickly to swimming with varsity. This was short lived like most of my interests. Focusing back on my one semester at community college I experienced a heartbreak. This heartbreak was the only string that was keeping me in the area I grew up in.

 

For the sake of brevity I'll skip a little of my history. I will add more light here in the future. :)

 

Best Buy Geek Squad - My IT Career Begins

My mother ended up having the cancerous tumor removed and she actually made a swift recovery. Now I had a new life to make with my later to be wife. This placed me around 21-22 years old. My wife would continue to get a bachelors and master's degree in criminal justice. I on the other hand maintained an unhealthy obsession with playing video games. I eventually got a job at Best Buy working for Geek Squad. I will quickly say that I was doing well with the management team and was making a name for myself. Again I had another perceived failure. I fell off a latter and snapped the ACL in my right leg. This was of course me not following procedures at work. During my time on workers comp I had my run-in with drugs. It was brief and I am grateful for this. I took as many pain killers as the doctors would give me. This ended up being a 6 month haze of me playing video games and making a firm imprint in my recliner. I know these drugs really did a number on me because I remember thoroughly enjoying watching every season of "Desperate Housewives" with my soon to be wife. Anyway… Long story short I knew Best Buy was going to fire me when I got off of workers comp. I went to a random party with my wife and ended up talking to an IT director who worked over a hospital. We quickly hit it off and he had me interview for a desktop support role. This was my introduction to the enterprise IT world. At this point I officially abandoned my 66 credit hours I had achieved in community colleges. I never once took a class that wasn't a basic course.

 

Finding a Love for Research - My wife wanting children

I would like to be brief as we are finally getting close to me actually searching for the purpose of life instead of just drifting through it with a dominating sense of aloofness. 4 years into my real IT career my wife's talks about wanting to have children began to grow. So I jumped on board, I mean who doesn't want to have a mini-me. To this point in my life I was very overweight hovering around 320lbs. We didn't have any diagnosed conditions, but looking back, going the way we were, it wouldn't likely have taken very long. In short we struggled to have kids. My wife was diagnosed with PCOS which comes along with infertility issues. My entire life I had problems with accepting authority figures and this is where it started to pay off. This sent me down my path to purse purpose. I found glaring problems with the medical models reliance on pharmaceuticals.  I researched endlessly on the influences that revolve around healthcare. I found so many amazing people doing amazing things with alternative health models I was amazed. There was Traditional Chinese Medicine, Naturopathic, Homeopathic, Chiropractic, Energy pathways, acupuncture, and so many more practitioners labeled as alternative health and not covered by health insurance. I dug deeper and found out about the "Flexner Report" which blew my mind and I will love covering this in future articles. Basically it centralized healthcare dollars and insurance to allopathic medicine, which boils down to, health managed by pharmaceuticals.  ANYWAY! I can dive deep into that stuff later. To quickly sum this up, this ignited my passion for research. Within 6 months my wife was pregnant and her PCOS symptoms were alleviated without the help of the mainstream medical model. Funny enough my IT career had ended up being in hospitals and clinics were I also witnessed the influence of pharmaceutical companies in the day to day operations of clinics and hospitals. Free breakfasts., lunches, and dinners for all 100+ staff all year around! You just had to make small talk with those big pharma reps sitting next to their food. That is of course the tip of  the iceberg. I digress…

 

Health Research Evolved

Through learning and implementing all of this health research it sharpened my brain and made learning way more clear for me than it ever had been before. I lost over a 100lbs going from 320s to the 220s. Over the years maintaining implementing the things I learned has been a constant battle but a wonderful one. My wife and I had a second child and still for years I was obsessed with doing health research. My time in hospitals and clinics working in IT was wonderful, I debated with many nurses and doctors about random things I've learned. In short I feel like I finally solved the puzzle of health even if I don't implement all of the facets every day. This led me back to, I'd call it boredom. With the improvements to my brain and learning abilities in the last seven years I was able to gather networking, virtualization, and cloud certifications to progress my IT career. Though learning has developed into a fun exercise for me I found no passion or purpose beyond financial gains in my career in IT. I would say over the last 7 years less than 10% of my time was spent on learning things for my IT career. The birth of my kids really sparked my yearning to understand more about why we exist. How am I going to raise my children? What is a life lived of purpose and meaning? These thoughts began to dominate my mind. It was then I turned my focus on religion and spirituality.

 

My Pursuit of Purpose Continues

Growing up essentially guiding myself, I fostered a deep-seated agnosticism. To assert with certainty whether God existed felt presumptuous to me. Thus, I remained perched on the fence of belief, pondering the existence or absence of a divine being. The questions of morality's origins and the inherent spirituality of human nature intrigued me but remained unanswered. My quest for understanding led me to consume debates on these subjects, with figures like Sam Harris and William Lane Craig offering compelling arguments that fueled my intellectual curiosity. This exploration began to address an unspoken, deep-seated yearning to comprehend our raison d'être.

Unexpectedly, my journey expanded into the realm of psychedelic research, introducing me to thought leaders like Richard Alpert (Ram Dass), Paul Stamets, and Terence McKenna, among others. These individuals, through their explorations with psychedelics, sought to connect with something beyond the material, hinting at the existence of a divine presence. Such encounters fascinated me, revealing a myriad of paths to potentially experience the divine, including drug-free methods like fasting, meditation, and holotropic breathing. This diversity of experiences opened my eyes to the myriad ways people claim to encounter or connect with God on a deeply personal level.

This exploration raised a pivotal question for me: What do I believe, and how do I guide my children on their spiritual journey? The turning point in my search came when I encountered the teachings of figures like Walter Veith, Chuck Missler, and Pastors Allen and Driscoll. Their profound insights into faith, combined with a rigorous examination of the Christian doctrine, resonated with me. They offered perspectives that transcended mere intellectual curiosity, touching on a deeper, more personal quest for truth.

Through their teachings, I found compelling arguments for the existence of Jesus Christ as the embodiment of truth and the answer to my long-standing questions. The historical and philosophical evidence for Christ's life, death, and resurrection provided a foundation that felt more substantial than the speculative nature of my previous explorations. The personal testimonies and transformative power of faith in Jesus presented by these individuals offered a new lens through which to view the world.

This journey, which had traversed the realms of debate, psychedelics, and spiritual practices, ultimately led me to a profound personal revelation: Jesus Christ stands as the pinnacle of truth and purpose in my quest. This realization not only provided answers to my existential queries but also illuminated a path forward for nurturing my children's spiritual development. In embracing this faith, I found not just belief in the divine but a comprehensive framework for understanding life's complexities and a source of enduring hope and guidance.

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